They call it a friendly.
But nobody walks into Wembley smiling when England and Wales meet.
This is a family argument disguised as football — a sibling feud where one side brings medals and money, and the other brings fire, memory, and the kind of national pride that makes your voice shake when you sing. Thursday night’s so-called “International Challenge Match” has a subtler story simmering underneath the roar: a castle full of traitors.
Because as The Celebrity Traitors hits the BBC, the real episode is happening under the Wembley arch. Seven of Wales’ probable starters were born in England. Nottingham, Exeter, Torquay, Warrington — places better known for Greggs than for rebellion. Yet here they are, draped in red, choosing dragons over lions.
The Traitors Theme or Welsh National Anthem?
You couldn’t write it better if Claudia Winkleman herself was in the tunnel. Brennan Johnson, Nottingham-born, now a Welsh hero. Ethan Ampadu, Exeter kid turned Leeds captain, playing with the maturity of a general. David Brooks — Warrington lad, England youth cap, cancer survivor — reborn under a red flag.
Wales don’t have the luxury of picking from billion-pound academies. They recruit from ancestry, heart, and conviction. Manager Craig Bellamy summed it up with his usual bluntness:
“They have a ridiculous squad… If you were a boxing promoter, you wouldn’t put us together. It wouldn’t be allowed.”
That’s Bellamy in one breath: realistic, fatalistic, and still spoiling for a fight. He knows Thursday is a mismatch on paper — England’s squad is worth £1.4 billion, Wales barely £170 million — but the Welsh don’t do respect. They do resistance.
The Scarred Welsh-English Past
This will be the 105th meeting between the nations. England lead the record 69 wins to Wales’ 14, and haven’t lost this fixture since 1984. Seven straight English victories. Forty-one years of polite domination.
The last time Wales beat England, Margaret Thatcher was in power, “Relax” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood was number one, and Craig Bellamy was five years old. The last time they beat them in England was 1977.
The rivalry’s blood still runs deep, even if the fixtures are rarer. The 2022 World Cup saw England put three past Wales in Qatar. “Rashford ruins Wales” screamed the headlines — and Marcus Rashford could easily reprise that role again on Thursday. He’s scored or assisted in seven straight games for Barcelona and looks like a man trying to turn a friendly into a statement.
Tuchel Thinks; Bellamy Thunders
Thomas Tuchel looks like a man who irons his match plans. Bellamy looks like a man who’d throw his into the fire and see what burns slower — the paper or the opponent.
Tuchel’s England are five-for-five in World Cup qualifying, no goals conceded, and built on ruthless rotation. Jude Bellingham, Phil Foden, and Jack Grealish? All left out. The message was pure Tuchel: “I’m not collecting stars, I’m building a team.”
“I watched a documentary with the New England Patriots,” Tuchel said. “The line was, ‘Don’t collect the best players — make a talented team.’”
He’s creating competition by omission, faith by fear. Without Harry Kane (ankle injury), the captain’s armband could fall to Declan Rice, John Stones, or even Jordan Henderson — the Brentford reborn veteran who leads the league in line-breaking passes.
Bellamy, meanwhile, has built his Wales on rebellion and clarity.
“We are here to play our brand of football,” he said. “We are not tourists.”
He refuses to park the bus. “Defending deep against England is a slow death,” he’s said before. He’d rather die fast swinging than fade away waiting.
The Welsh Folklore Characters
Every great derby has its archetypes: the saint, the cynic, the redeemer, the villain. This one has them all.
The Redeemer – David Brooks
Beating cancer once is miraculous. Coming back to score for Wales in World Cup qualifying borders on biblical. His presence in this match adds something raw — the emotional gravity England can’t manufacture with money.
The Enforcer – Ethan Ampadu
Born in Exeter, raised in Leeds, but playing like he was bred in the Valleys. He captains Leeds United with quiet command and embodies Bellamy’s new Wales: cultured, fearless, no longer living in Bale’s shadow.
The Striker – Kieffer Moore
He’s Torquay-born and six-foot-five, all elbows and thunder. Once played for England C. Now he leads Wales’ line for Wrexham, scoring in his last two matches. Notably, getting excited before the home nations game against one another in Qatar at the 2022 World Cup.
“No mixed loyalties,” he warned this week. “I can’t wait to knock them out.”
England won 3-0. Kieffer Moore had no impact of England’s later exit.
Moore’s duel with John Stones or Marc Guéhi could decide the tone of the night. If England can’t handle the aerial war, Wembley could get nervous fast.
The Symbol – Karl Darlow
Twice denied a Wembley appearance. Once by red tape (Newport County), once by Newcastle heartbreak. Now, at 35, the Nottingham-born keeper will finally walk under the arch — as a Welshman.
“I’m so motivated and determined to help this Welsh squad qualify,” he said. His family will be in the stands wearing red.
That’s not treachery. That’s closure.
Who Replaces Kane?
Harry Kane’s absence turns this match from routine to revealing. Without him, England’s shape shifts — Tuchel might try a false nine with Rashford, or hand a chance to an in-form Ollie Watkins. Either way, leadership becomes the issue.
This is where Tuchel’s “team over talent” experiment gets tested. When the game turns scrappy — and it will — who rallies the group? Rice might be the voice. Henderson might be the echo. But Kane’s absence leaves an emotional hole, the type of void Wales would love to exploit.
England haven’t lost a competitive fixture in over a year, but they’ve lost their last two friendlies — 0–1 vs. Iceland, 1–3 vs. Senegal. They need to prove they can control chaos, not just dominate order.
Fire and Function: England v Wales Formations
England will play their usual 4-2-3-1, heavy on control and width. Expect Bukayo Saka to return on the right, stretching play against Jay Dasilva — another English-born “traitor.” Behind them, Declan Rice orchestrates from deep, while Henderson or Loftus-Cheek anchor the middle.
Wales will go 4-3-3, leaning on pace and pride. Bellamy’s men won’t sit deep; they’ll try to press high through Jordan James and Ampadu. That aggression could expose them — but it’s the only way they believe they can win.
Tuchel’s danger is overthinking. Bellamy’s danger is under-calculating. The truth lies somewhere between chessboard and street fight.
Can the Red Wall help at Wembley?
Over 6,500 Wales fans will travel, parked in Wembley’s south-west corner, roaring out “Yma o Hyd.” The FAW calls this a “family event.” It’ll sound like a siege.
For them, this isn’t London. It’s borrowed territory. Karl Darlow called Wembley “one of the biggest and best stadiums in the world.” Bellamy called it “a place to test your soul.”
And somewhere in the chaos, the awkward pre-match photo — Wales’ beloved superstition — will happen. The lopsided grin, the diagonal stance, the inside joke of defiance. It started as a mistake at Euro 2016. It became a symbol: play loose, play proud, play like you don’t belong — and then prove you do.
The Numbers
England have scored in 16 straight games. Wales haven’t scored in an away friendly for 938 minutes. The Opta supercomputer gives England a 70.9% win chance. Wales sit at 12.6%. England’s last two wins vs. Wales: both 3–0. Ben Davies could reach 100 caps this week — a century of quiet commitment.
But numbers don’t survive derby day. Emotion does.
The Post-Bale Era, Continues?
Every Welsh game against England lives under one ghost: that free-kick in Lens, Euro 2016. Gareth Bale’s moment of defiance, erased minutes later by Sturridge’s winner. That match, that pain, that pride — it still shapes them.
This generation’s mission is to prove there’s life after Bale.
Johnson, Wilson, Ampadu — they’re not living in his light anymore. They’re building something colder, more collective, more Bellamy.
No Friendlies or Friends
“The mindset in the group is that this is not a friendly,” said England defender Marc Guéhi. “This is a chance to show what we can do.”
Bellamy would agree. For him, this isn’t about points or prestige — it’s about perception. If Wales can make England sweat under their own arch, they’ll leave with something more valuable than a win: belief.
But England are predators now. Tuchel has stripped away the sentiment and replaced it with a machine. The young faces — O’Reilly, Quansah, Trafford — will want blood, not balance.
So call it what you want. A friendly. A rivalry. A reunion.
But when the whistle blows, the question won’t be who wins. It’ll be who betrays who first.
Because at Wembley, there are no innocents — only traitors, wearing different shirts.
How to Watch England vs Wales
If you’ve not got your ticket for the big game at Wembley, then you’ll need to watch it on television.
So how to watch England v Wales? It’s delightfully simple. It’s delightfully cosy effective, too. That’s right, you can watch football online for free… via ITVX.
This is because the game is being broadcast on ITV. Simple. Oh and if you’d prefer to watch the coverage in Welsh, then you can enjoy that via S4C.
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